All I Want For Christmas Is To Throw My Pager
by TheUSofCalzona
Summary: Cristina does a little babysitting for Callie and Arizona when they are paged to the hospital on Christmas Day. Set in Season 6


A/N - Had this on my LJ and wanted to bring it over!

Cowritten with littlepigowl

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There were few things about Christmas that Callie really loved. First were the gifts. Who didn't love free stuff? Second was the togetherness of it. Something about the day just made you want to snuggle up to your loved ones and never leave them. And third was Arizona commanding the kitchen. She only did it on Christmas and it was hot the way she moved around it like she was born there. Too bad the other 364 days weren't the same. "Babe, seriously. It's perfect." Callie and Sofia watched as Arizona checked placemats one more time, making it the fourth time all together.

Arizona's favorite meal of the year was Christmas. It was the meal that her father was always home to eat and her mother planned for weeks. It was always such a wonderful time, always made her feel so happy and loved. "I think it's time to sit down." She pulled off her apron and set it aside. "Are you ready to carve the turkey, Calliope?"

"Ohhh, yeah." Callie was made to carve the turkey. Born to carve it, in fact. No one could get every piece of meat off the bone like she could. Sometimes, being an ortho-god had extra perks. Placing a kiss on Sofia's head, Callie made her way to the front of the table. As she passed by her wife, she placed a firm slap on her butt. "Let's do it." Standing in front of the turkey, Callie rolled her head and shook her shoulders. Some might think she was about to perform award-winning surgery rather than carve a simple turkey. Picking up the knife, she looked at the turkey with a raised eyebrow. "You have met your match, Mr. Turkey." Sofia let out a laugh at her mama's antics.

"Mama, silly." 18-month-old Sofia giggled. She was the spitting image of her mother, right up to the talking with her hands and the cute pout. "Mama, hungry!" She looked at Callie, wanting her to hurry up.

"We're almost ready to eat, big girl." Arizona bent down, kissing her daughter's head. Though before Callie could make the first cut into the bird, a sound that neither wanted cut through the air. "No." Arizona's eyes went wide. "No, it can't be." She felt her heart drop as both their pagers went off.

Callie turned toward the sound and then back to her wife. Sighing, she walked over to her pager with her knife still in hand. Picking up the offensive device to silence it, she read it out loud. "Accident on the highway. 3 injured." She turned back to her wife and daughter, her heart breaking. "Babe, I'm sorry, but dinner might be canceled." As much as she hated it, Callie knew people needed her and Arizona.

Arizona felt like she had been sucker punched in the jaw. This was Christmas Day. Didn't people have the decency to wait until their meal was at least finished before getting hurt? "You put everything in the fridge. I'll get Sofia dressed to take her to the day care." She pushed all thoughts of not answering the page away and moved into doctor mode.

Callie began packing up the dinner as Arizona retreated into their bedroom. "Bah humbug." Finishing the packing, she made her way to the bedroom to get dressed. When she entered the bedroom, Sofia was dressed and sitting on the bed. Playing with a toy she had placed there earlier, the child was paying neither of her moms any attention. After changing into her scrubs, Callie took in the sight of her wife. She looked like a kid who had been told there was no Santa. Walking up behind her, Callie placed an arm around her waist and placed a kiss just below her ear. "We will go. We will be awesome. And when we are done, I will make this up to you."

Arizona relaxed into Callie's arms for a moment, trying to find the ability to go do her job when she would rather be anywhere other than where she was. She closed her eyes before shaking her head. "We need to get going. We have to take Sofia up to daycare before the buses get there." She lifted Sofia up in her arms and headed for the door. She loved her job, but there were moments like this when she really wished she did something else.

As Callie watched Arizona head to the door, she shook her head. Her wife would do her job and make wrongs right, but this day was ruined for her. Following and shutting the door, Callie grabbed her phone and shot a quick text. She was going to make this right. It was time to organize a Christmas miracle. By the time she reached Arizona and Sofia, she had her reply. Smirking, she fell into step with the two and reached the doors. The wail of sirens was near and getting nearer. Callie switched from mama and wife into doctor mode in 2 seconds flat.

Walking toward the hospital, Arizona kept her pace pretty quick. They had to drop Sofia off and then make their way to the ER to meet the people they were going to have to try to save. She didn't expect to see Cristina walking out with a Santa hat on her head. "You're walking away from the sounds of sirens. Are you feeling all right?" She paused to ask.

Cristina stopped and turned toward the family. "What are you doing here? Did you finally realize the Santa in the mall isn't real?" Cristina took in each of them with a slight tilt of her head. Not too much or her hat might fall off and that wasn't a good thing. Robbins looked like someone kicked her dog. Torres looked like someone kicked her wife and Sofia just looked bored. "Hello." Cristina extended her arms to take her goddaughter.

"We got paged in. We were headed to take Sofia to daycare." Arizona was never not amazed how much Sofia and Cristina had bonded during the last year. "Would you mind taking her up so we can go right to the ER?" She asked, hoping Cristina would help them out.

"Umm..." Cristina looked around like someone would appear and save her. "Well, see, I was kind of..." Her excuse died on her lips as she saw Callie doing some weird stare down with her. "You know what? Sure." Cristina turned to Sofia and gave her a soft bounce. " I want to teach you something anyway, little crack baby."

Callie sighed, "Please don't call her that."

"But you did. I mean if her own..." Again, Cristina quit after the weird stare down.

Sofia watcher her moms walk away before looking up at Cristina again. "Home?" She asked, her brown eyes full of wonder and love for her godmother. "Go home?" She was a little cold and not digging just standing on the sidewalk.

"But your moms said daycare." Cristina weighed her options and took in Sofia's puppy eyes. "Fine. Easier to watch you when I know the layout." Taking off her hat, she looked at the flask hidden inside it and then back to Sofia. "Plus, I know where the good stuff is hidden." Holding the hat-flask in one hand and Sofia in the other arm, the two began their journey back across the street.

Cristina was standing on a chair searching the top shelf. "Here, tequila, tequila, I know you're here somewhere." She rooted a little more before turning to Sofia. "Okay. Where did Mama hide the good stuff?" Sofia stared at her before going back to the toys in front of her. "Seriously, you're as useful your dad." Cristina hopped off the chair and knelt before Sofia. She knew there was a bottle of tequila somewhere. She had hidden it when Callie's dad had sent it as an early birthday present. Why Cristina was in their house, opening a package clearly labeled "Calliope Torres" was anybody's guess. She picked up a toy and looked under it before setting it back down. "Not there." Both Cristina and Sofia turned toward the door when the knob started to turn.

Lexie Grey had been very much enjoying her Christmas morning in bed with Mark. Mark and Sofia were going to do their own little Christmas that evening after Callie and Arizona had her, so the newly reformed couple was having their own little celebration until Mark got paged into work. Lexie was almost back to sleep (she needed a cat nap after her morning) when Callie texted. So now she was over to help Callie out.

Cristina quickly hid behind the counter and stared at the door. "Crap." She rushed back and grabbed Sofia before sliding back behind the counter. Reaching her hand up and running it along the top, she pulled down the first thing she could find. Staring at her flask, she quickly looked between the door and it. "Here. Guard this." She handed it to Sofia, who looked at the shiny object now in her possession. Running her hand back over the top she brought down a spatula. "Good enough." Both she and Sofia returned their gaze to the door now being opened.

Lexie walked in, humming a little to herself. She saw that the table wasn't a neat as it should have been, having been hit around and moved during Callie and Arizona's mission to get out of the apartment and to the hospital. "That's an easy fix." She walked to the table and picked up the glasses to empty and wash them. She set them in the sink before turning around. "AHH!" She jumped when she saw Cristina, not having expected it. "What are you doing here?"

Letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding, Cristina stood up and whacked Lexie with the spatula. "What am I doing here? What the fu-" Cristina glanced at Sofia, who was still holding the flask, before turning back to Lexie. "-dge clusters are YOU doing here?" Bending down, she picked up Sofia and took the flask, opening it with one hand and taking a swig. Setting the homemade weapon down, she turned back to Lexie. "Well...we are waiting."

Lexie rubbed her arm where Cristina hit her, making a bit of a face. "Callie sent me a text and asked if I would get everything reset, get a fire started, and get the turkey cut up for them. She wanted a quiet and romanticish dinner for her and Arizona when they got back." The look in Cristina's eyes said that was about to change.

"Is that why Callie wanted me to take Sofia and stared at me like she wanted to wear my skin?" Cristina looked at Lexie and then back to the kitchen. "Wait...what about Sofia? What were they going to do with her?" She turned to the girl in her arms. "Were they going to forget about you, McCracky?"

"Mark has her tonight, if he gets out of the hospital on time, at 6." Lexie explained, smiling at the 18 month old in Cristina's arms. "He has a whole thing planned, father and daughter Christmas bonding. I made them little pies and she can be messy with them and he's making a steak for him and hotdogs for her. And there is a basketball game on he wants her to watch with him."

Cristina looked at Lexie and gagged. "Ew. Seriously, you're a Stepford wife." Giving Sofia up to Lexie, Cristina walked toward the bedroom. "Watch her for me. Don't drop her because, you know, she's breakable."

"I am not a Stepford wife. I didn't want Sofia to get sick from Mark's cooking. And I like to bake." Lexie held Sofia, giving her a kiss on the forehead. For all her reservations about getting back with Mark because of Sofia, the two had become fast friends. "Aunty Cristina is crazy, Sofia."

Cristina opened drawers in Callie and Arizona's bedroom and threw things around. She opened one drawer and yelled, "MY HAND! MY HAND!" She rushed out and ran to the sink, turning the water on hot and scrubbing it. "Won't go away," She muttered. Reaching an arm out, she pointed to Lexie then to her flask before pointing back to herself.

"What did you touch?" Lexie handed over the flask, holding Sofia a little bit closer. She was a little worried that Cristina was going a little bit crazy. At least she was here to take care of Sofia. "And why were you in their bedroom anyway?"

"First, we will speak not of what I touched." Cristina turned to the two and sighed. "Second, Callie owes me some presents and I happen to know that she has a very nice bottle of tequila hiding somewhere. And now Sofia and I are playing hide and seek with it." Sofia nodded her head at the sound of her name. "See?" Cristina pointed to the child.

"No. You are going to go play with Sofia in the living room while I get everything set up for Callie like she asked me. Then we're going to leave and take Sofia to the hospital daycare like Callie and Arizona wanted before going to Mer's." Lexie said firmly, trying to get Cristina to follow the plan.

"Fine. I need to teach Sofia about the holiday anyway." Cristina took Sofia from Lexie and brought her to sit on the carpet. "So I suppose no one has told you about our holiday. Well you're in luck." Cristina positioned Sofia directly in front of her and held her hand up. "We are in the middle of eight days of gifts and stuff."

"You're not Jewish, Cristina. And neither is Sofia." Lexie called from the kitchen. "You're about as close to a non-believer as you can get." She wondered what Cristina was up to, but decided it couldn't be anything too bad right now.

"Okay. First, don't hate on my holiday." Turning back to Sofia, Cristina spoke in a semi-whispered tone. "And yours, too." She turned back to Lexie and stared. "Is it because I get eight days of presents and parties and you only get one day that lasts maybe an hour? Is that why you are hating on my people?"

"Your people? Your step father is Jewish; you're not." Lexie tried not to give Cristina any ammo to go off on a rant. "Anyway, Christmas was a whole day thing when I was a kid." She started to go into a story from her childhood.

Sofia moved over, sitting in Cristina's lap. She rested her head against Cristina and sucked her thumb. "Story?" She asked Cristina, not finding Lexie's to be any fun.

"Hey, hush up. Clearly, I'm the favorite." Cristina turned back to Sofia. "Okay, so long ago in a galaxy far, far away, there were some people. They were kind of like Jews, so they got called Jewish. Anyway, some mean Klingon decided he didn't like the way they prayed and such and told them to stop. You know what, Sofia…?" She looked down at the child. "They where kind of like Altman. I mean, why can't I do surgeries that a first year could do on my own? I don't need her Klingon self telling me to stop." Cristina stared into space for a minute. "Wait..." Turning to Lexie, Cristina tilted her head. "Where was I again?"

"I believe Episode 3 of Star Wars and episode 1 of Star Trek: Voyager." Lexie snorted, trying to get everything finished.

"Shhhh!" Sofia said to Lexie, turning back to Cristina to hear the end of the story.

"That's my girl." Cristina placed a small kiss on the girl's forehead. If anyone asked, she had slipped. "So, anyway the Jewish people decided to do what they wanted. The Klingon hated it and made them suffer. Because of it, the Jewish people lit some candles and they burned and burned. Kind of like a big flaming middle finger. But because of their sacrifice, we now get eight days of presents and celebrations. Plus, we get a awesome toy and song." Cristina started to rock Sofia gently back and forth without noticing and gently sang, "Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel. I made you out of clay. And when you're dry and ready, with dreidel I shall play." She repeated the same verse a few times before looking at Sofia and seeing that the child had fallen asleep.

XXXXXXXXX

Callie, Arizona, and Mark walked down the hall toward their apartments. They had all been working on the same case, so they got off together. "I just want to go home, make a sandwich, and curl up on the couch." Arizona muttered, hoping Cristina was doing all right with Sofia. Cristina had texted them, saying that she had Sofia at their apartment.

Callie took Arizona's hand and bumped Mark with her shoulder. "I don't know, guys. I'm kind of pumped and I just feel like a Christmas miracle is all we need to make this night complete." She turned to Mark and winked before turning back to her wife. "Don't you think, babe?"

"I got peed on tonight by a man asking me if I would be his ho ho ho. I think Christmas is done for this year." Arizona made a face at the memory. "I just want to give Sofia a kiss before we hand her..." She opened the door and found the apartment covered in lights. There was a huge toy train set going though the whole apartment and some inflatable Santas and reindeer. "What the fu...futon?"

"Well, I must say your elf works better then I thought, Mark." She slapped him on the back before wrapping both her arms around her wife and resting her head on Arizona's shoulder. "Merry Christmas. Will this do better than a sandwich?" Callie grinned into her wife's neck.

"Hey." Lexie walked over, leaving Cristina who was playing Mario Kart on the Wii with Sofia watching. "She's nuts. Like really, really nuts. But Sofia loves her." She told the group, taking Mark's hand and giving him a kiss. "But I got all you wanted done and then we decided to up it a little."

"Hey!" Cristina protested before her character bit the dust in the game. Trading the controller for Sofia, she walked toward the group. "First, she insults our holiday and now she is calling me crazy. The nerve of the Stepford wife."

"I'm not married; I can't be a Stepford wife." Lexie looked up at Mark at the word married before looking at Cristina again. "Besides, you have a husband at your house waiting for you."

"Thank you both." Arizona cut in, trying to keep the two doctors from getting into it. "Why don't you give me Sofia and you can go home? Mark, Lexie, would you like to join us for dinner?"

"Actually, uhh, Mark and Lexie were going to take Sofia for the night and you and I were going to celebrate." Callie wiggled her eyebrows. "Alone."

"That could work for me." Arizona grinned a little bit at her wife's words. "Do you guys need an overnight bag or are you set?" She turned to Lexie, knowing Lexie knew more about that than Mark did.

"Nope. All set." Taking Sofia from her moms after receiving kisses, Lexie and Mark walked across the hall into their apartment. "You guys have a good night." They closed the door, leaving Callie, Arizona, and Cristina standing in the doorway.

"So, thank you for babysitting. Sofia looked like she was having a great time with you." Arizona took Callie's hand, holding the door with her other. She was hoping Cristina would leave quickly so that she and Callie could get to unwrapping a pair of presents that were lacey and meant to be taken off.

"Hey, anything for my Jewish peeps. Shalom, mutha-" Cristina was cut off by Callie shutting the door in her face. "Well, that's just rude." She turned and headed down the hall to her own house and husband. Suddenly remembering she had left her hat and flask on the counter, she turned to go back before stopping. Remembering the object in the drawer, she shuddered and turned on her heel. When she reached the elevator, she saluted down the hall. "Goodbye, dear flask. You served me well and I'm sorry for what you are about to witness." A loud laugh flowed through the hallway followed by a throaty moan. Cristina quickly pressed the button for the door to close. "Never mind. Every man for himself."


End file.
